Blogging, Family, etc

So, I watched Julie and Julia last week and right after watching it, I wanted to jump on and blog about something, but of course couldn't really think of what I could blog about. By the way, that is a really great movie! Well the day before Christmas Eve, I had a thought about what I wanted to share, but of course not only did I think of it late at night when I was trying to go to sleep but of course it was close to Christmas, so with the blizzard and all the family Christmas stuff going on I didn't get to it until now. Anyway, I also found it amazing to see how much blogging could do. It wasn't that long ago that you had to have an epic novel to get anything out there to the world. Sure you could have something in a local paper or small magazine, but nothing like blogging. Anyone can do it about anything! I have no intention of becoming big like Julie did on Julie and Julia, but the fact that you can is incredible!
Well, ultimately, my thought for this blog was about family. I was thinking about the upcoming holiday and family in general. Family is an interesting thing, I know I've posted a lot about relationships and mentioned family, but I feel like I'm going through some kind of phase where I'm contemplating things more and more. I heard somewhere recently something to the effect that friends are the family you choose. I believe that is true! I also think you choose the relationship you have with your family. In some aspects I think you are stuck with your family, but that is not a bad thing! They are your family after all! Of course everyone has those family members you wish you weren't related to, and there are those you want to tell everyone that you're related to. :) Then of course you have those people who aren't blood related to but are part of your family. Needless to say for a long time I was one of those people in the family I'm sure those that lived with me wished they did not have to claim me as family (and that still may be true) but over time I have learned that if you have to live with someone or share family functions with and you have to decide if you're going to just "put up" with them or actually make the effort to have a decent realtionship with them. I think a lot of people think they are just stuck with their family and grin and bear it if they don't like them and have to be around them but with people who have that option to be your friend or as close as family and can walk away without ever having to worry about seeing them again make the effort if they want to have a good relationship with them; shouldn't that be true with family, you aren't just stuck with family. Frankly you could decide to "abandon" your family and spend holidays and such alone. Growing up with a pretty good sized family I had to learn to deal with everyone and once I realized that my family wanted to make the effort to get to know me and love me and be around me despite the way I was especially through puberty, made me want to do the same for them. If anything family teaches you how to love unconditionally. They at least teach you love! I of course would love to have a wonderful relationship with everyone in my family and call all my friends family but with some people they don't have the same decision and that's fine, because it is their choice. Maybe it's part of being a Christian that I have that love for all those in my life.
So, for those in my "family" reading this and are dying to know my progress with my sewing, it's been kind of slow but I did manage to get some great stuff made for my nieces for Christmas and am working on reusable shopping bags. I have found several shopping bag things online and am totally inspired to make them and whip them out as much as I can. I have also seen reusable sandwich and snack bags and am wanting to make some of those too. I worked on some of my bibs I had sitting aside for an inventory I'm trying to build. Although, come January I may be pretty busy making baby stuff for my friends Terri and Katie; they both find out what they are having in January! I'm very excited! I am a point in my sewing that I'm actually getting a little frustrated because I have a few things I really want to sit down and whip out, but time is not my friend lately! Every time I sit down to sew, if it's when Madison is awake she is at my side every minute wanting in my lap or something and half the time even if Jason comes in to help she screams at him and gets upset; and if I sew while she's sleeping it's already 10pm and I don't want to be up all night. I've gotten a few things when she goes to bed and if I can while she naps. It just depends on the day. Maybe I'll make a set time that I can work on it and Jason can make plans and if we get Madison used to that she'll cooperate a lot easier. Especially if I have stuff I'm going to have to have done by a set time! I'm also dying to expand my skills to knitting, I don't know what the fascination is, but I really want to learn! I would love to make our own knitted hats and scarves, etc! Plus, I don't have to sit in my little corner, I can take it anywhere! I also was looking at a blog online last night about a review for a serger and I am definitely going to be looking into getting one of those, they aren't cheap but my cousin has already told me about them and how great it is to have one so when I can save up some money I'll have to get me one. It's a lot like a sewing machine but faster and with more options! It would definitely help with my intentions of starting a website of selling my creations! I also am thinking about setting a goal for maybe having a booth at the Deluxe Indie Craft for or something alike. I'd contemplated it occasionally but when my friend Laci said I could probably do it, I thought, well maybe I can, if someone else besides me thinks I could do it, maybe I can! :) I know there's a lot of work preparing for it, so I'd have to plan for that. I'm still thinking it over and haven't even talked to Jason yet, so we'll see.
Also for those who haven't really seen Madison in a while she is talking up a storm as long as she's not around new people. :) Like over Christmas she took a while to warm up until she was familiar enough with the kids then she was fine. The only thing that is getting hard is she is really attached to mommy which makes it hard if I want to do anything. We're working on it. :)
Okay, that's all I had for now and hopefully I will get pictures on here soon. I've slacked a little on taking pictures of my projects, hopefully I'll get one of my nieces Christmas presents since I forgot to. I will definitely get pictures of my shopping bags! Take care and hope everyone had a great Christmas and has a Happy New Year!

Precious Babies!!

Okay, so I was going through my blogs that I follow after adding one to my follow list of my good friend Mindy's husband. :) Well, I have a few craft ones that I follow to get ideas, etc. Well one that I follow had listed at the end of one of her blogs about a lady who had contacted her about a project she's doing. This mom is making eye masks for little babies in the NICU for any hospital she can. She had a baby that had been in the NICU and was not able to wear any clothes of any kind but needed to have her eyes covered so she decided to make masks. Well, she was wanting to have this idea spread so many crafters could get involved and you can bet I will be one of them. Here is the blog of the mother making the masks where you can get information on it and read her story www.mybabysbling.blogspot.com. She also has a blog about her little baby she lost....have tissue handy if you venture that way!
Well, of course reading her story tugs at your heart especially when you have friends who have gone through it! To add to it Madison woke up briefly while I was reading this blog and I went in to check on her and get her laid back down. Of course looking at my sweet girl falling back asleep the tears came on! So I decided I would blog about it! :)
It just is amazing, you would think being that you are raised to know that death is inevitable, everyone will die at some point and in your lifetime you have been to a few funerals. So, you would think seeing this happen with a baby you would be prepared for it. How could you be?! When a parent or grandparent, aunt or uncle pass away, they've lived; they have had their hard days and great days. They have lived through tough times and good times; had bad experiences and wonderful ones. Good moments and bad. You have gotten to know their personality, heard their stories and shared great times with them. A baby doesn't have that. When you find out your pregnant, you plan and prepare and dream of what it will be like as you learn and watch as your little one grows. You imagine all the things you will teach them; prepare to capture their first moment crawling, walking, riding a bike and thus driving! You imagine someday they will have their first day at school, first friends, first boy/girl friend, and first date! You think of the life the little baby growing inside you will have. Then the day they are born you hope to hear they are healthy and will continue to be healthy. To hear the words that they have something you don't know if they'll survive, how long they'll survive, how you will survive. All this assuming the baby was born alive. Some babies don't make it that far. I am thankful I have not had to face this challenge but so very heart broken for those that have!!!! It is so hard to imagine those babies that never had all those firsts, all those experiences! I am sure as with most unexpected deaths, and some expected, people turn to faith. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and God most certainly knows that reason. I imagine it would be very hard to understand that reason, but I know, too, that God does sometimes reveal some of that reason, it may not be immediate, but at some point I believe you will find it. I am just a ball of emotions when it comes to the subject of babies that pass away! I believe anyone that goes through that in any capacity is very strong!! I am now on a mission to try and help any one that I can in any way that I can when dealing with such a hard thing! A parent should never have to bury their child! Take care of all those sweet babies out there!

(Love you Tony, Laci & Betsy; you have great angels in Grace and Olivia!!)

Relationships part 2?

Well, I don't know if I'm in the process of "growing" more in this area or just rethinking what I've previously come to understand. Well lately I was thinking on the line of making the effort in that yes it takes the effort to make a realtionship work but sometimes I feel bad reaching out b/c I feel like I'm intruding I think mostly because I know how busy I am or can be and wonder if they are as well. I think mainly I'm trying to find my boundries. I've always been the person who worries too much about what others think of me and as I've grown I have learned to not do that as much but of course there are still times you can't help it. I think it is a little human nature and part being a woman. :) I am definitely finding out that learning and growing are one in the same! I think more than anything I work myself up a little bit because part of me wants to be that friend that talks to one or so friends everyday; or basically has at least one good friend that I talk to at least once or twice a day and sometimes in this day with everyone so busy all the time it doesn't seem like there's time. Of course when I do think of that I do either send a text or try to remember to facebook them. Which in part to me seems kind of silly; I remember when we couldn't wait to get home from school just so we could talk on the phone and with a few of my friends meant we just sat there on the phone doing whatever but really not talking. Probably why they invented texting so you could say what you needed to as you needed to without all the awkwardness. Sometimes I want to embrace that awkwardness, it builds character! I have avoided awkwardness a lot in my life, but sometimes, going with it just teaches you more and adds to who you are!! Frankly I think I'm still growing emotionally etc! I've had a few things going on that have really made me stop to figure out how I really feel about things. On the plus side one of the relationships I am really greatful for that has grown is with my mom! We talk more than we used to and there is a lot less tension than we used to! Maybe because she calls me about one thing or another or I'm calling her about a specific thing and we end up talking about the normal day to day stuff, I guess b/c I get tired of only talking to Jason about the day to day; especially when he is there in some of the day to day! :) I guess it still amazes me that we are still growing and learning even in my old age LOL! Although I'm sure that even when I'm a grandma, I'll still be learning! I think part of what makes it so interesting is I am the type of person who does not enjoy change very well, but some of it I am starting to embrace! Maybe I will start calling people when I feel like I need to instead of thinking, nah, I'll just email her later or facebook her tomorrow. If you don't like me calling too bad! :) Take care, until next time!

Hodge Podge

So, I'm a little behind, at least on my blog, sometimes I feel like on everything. :) Well, I thought I would update a little. I have done a few more sewing projects since my last post; if you follow on Facebook I've put up pictures. I did finally take Madison to do professional portraits! I think for the majority of pictures I may want I'll just do at home if at all possible like I did her 6 months! It's just easier b/c then you can do what you want with them and not worry about it and decide how much you want to pay on printing them out. As for ones that might be for special occasions and such I'll still take her to a studio. :)
On another note; I was thinking the other day, as I have been lately how interesting life can be. It's just so amazing the concept of being a grown up you have as a child and when you are all grown up, you realize how innocent you were. It also puts things in percpective because you want to make sure your children (and in my case my nieces that I watch) keep that innocence. You really think about how you say things and frankly what you say! Aside from all that it's hard to deal with your emotions and maintain a composure! I just feel like I've been so confused on how to feel about things lately. It's funny how life seems to be going good; everything is in order and makes sense and then one thing happens and it seems like several things happen; it's never one thing at a time. Like with your car or house! There are a lot of family things going on right now and it seems like Madi and I have been busy without really being too busy so I haven't had a chance to spend time with friends except a couple of playdates. I think that is what my deal is lately I feel like I just don't know how to deal with what's on my plate and maybe part of it is having the chance to get out of the house childless either with the girls or just Jason and not being able to do that for a while things pile up! I think a lot of it has been this flu epidemic also, I think I've put back not doing some things b/c I don't want Madi or myself to get sick! Lucky for us Madi's flu shot is still good; I on the other hand am not, so I try to be careful!
Madison is doing good, she is testing her boundaries on everything! I think being around her cousins as much as she is she also tries to be a big girl like them and gets very upset when she can't. I think she has also picked up a thing or two from her cousins that she tries to get away with. She is getting so big! I hate it, I keep telling her to stop growing! A few months ago, since Madi is so facinated with keys, we were outside and she wanted to try putting them in the door, so I pulled over a chair we had on the porch so she could reach and play; while I stood right there of course. Well the other day when we were coming in from outside and she had keys in hand, yes she reached up and had no trouble reaching the knob with the keys! I was so surprised! She's not eye to eye with the knob yet, thankfully, but it still gets me! Not to mention her vocabulary! She can say so much! Even today Jason was asking her to say, 'love you' and she did; of course it was as clear as you or I saying it, but you knew that's what she was saying. She has also moved from calling Clancy 'dog-dog' to some form of 'can-can' or 'cancy' or even 'can' I'm not sure. It is also amazing because I know she will have no problem picking up on putting her words into sentences when she reaches that! She already will say "mama, keys" or something like that, like when she wants something or is trying to give you something. So, not so much saying, "mama, here are the keys" but in her little vocabulary, that is what she's saying in her two words! It is also so fun to have friends with kids Madi's age give or take a few months to see how different and the same they are! It is funny too because Madi is always around bigger kids and then occasionally around her friend Seth who is a couple of months older but a boy none-the-less so he likes to wrestle so after being around all that when she gets around her friend Story or even our neighbor MaKenzie, she of course looks like she's trying to hug them but sometimes tries to tackle them too. It is so funny, but kind of scary too b/c I don't want her to hurt them being as that she is also the bigger of all her friends! She's not so much obese or anything but she's just bigger. :)
So, also on the note of Madison, it's coming down to where I really need to get a job, I'm totally dreading it b/c I really don't want to leave her and still trying to find the ideal situation where I can work a few days a week and take her with me for free. I have pretty much found that at Crossing Church just down the street from us; they are needing someone to work Sunday mornings, Monday mornings, and Wednesday nights. I can take Madi if I need to and it's good pay. I've filled out the application, just have not had the chance to take it by yet. I do hope it works out b/c it would be very good hours and would of course help to have the extra money. Of course I know it's inevitable that I will someday have to get more hours and therefore leave her more, I'm just trying to postpone it as much as possible. I'm enjoying my time with her and maybe being a little lazy :) but I know it's all for better. I think my big thing that's getting me is that I don't want to jump into a full on full time job so quickly b/c I don't know when we might plan on the next one and I don't want to get into the same situation again, I want to be able to stay home with the next one as much as I can. I know I may not be able to stay home full time with both, but I'll take part time! Maybe the Crossings thing will work out and I'll be able to keep that even with another one and we'll still be okay. We'll have to see where life takes us! :)
Alright, I feel like I've babbled enough; thus the title hodge podge. :) Hope everyone is doing well and taking good care of themselves! I don't know if I'll get around to posting before the holidays seeing my track record on here. :) So Happy Holidays to all and I'm sure I will see you soon!

Need Your Ideas!!

So, I'm stumped! I'm at a point where I really want to be making inventory for a website to sell the stuff I make. I still cannot figure out what I want to make to sell. I can make handbags and tote bags and bibs, etc. I also am pretty good at following a pattern. :) That's kind of where I get stuck, I don't want to be cutting out patterns for tons of items; although I may definitely do the bibs b/c they're easy and don't take much to cut and sew. Plus I've already made a few. :) I also thought about starting a site and selling some of the bags I may not use later that I've already made but I've customized those to me and most of them have flaws that I don't care about b/c it's mine but don't really want someone else thinking I do crappy work. :) Also, I'm hoping that I will be able to keep up with inventory and such with a little one literally running around! Plus I will be getting a job soon (when I find one lol) and will need to keep up despite that. Obviously it will be something I will have to juggle but I guess that's why I want something easy but crafty and very creative! The website I've been looking at; Etsy.com, has a lot of selection and frankly I'm intimidated b/c I feel like it's a lot of competition! It can be frustrating too b/c I look through the stuff that I could possibly do and see lots of cute stuff I could do but am looking at a site that already sells it! Some things I know right away how I could make it different and attempt selling it and others, I'm thinking, I would not change a thing! PLUS I was thinking about doing a site with my best friend Terri which could help keep up with inventory but I know she's in the same boat too with managing her time, etc. :) I just don't know what I want to do! I did recently finish a bag that I really like and is multi purpose; I am using it as a diaper tote bag; but could also be used for school or work or whatever. Putting it together, I don't think I'd have patience to do that 30 times! It is fun b/c it has "patches" or fabric squares all over it so it's very much personalized. Maybe if I do it assembly line it would work; I have to think on it. I also do not have pictures of that bag yet b/c I haven't taken them yet. I may include the picture of the pattern, though! Anyway so I'll definitely take any and all ideas you have! Anyone can post comments below so please do!! If you get this in your email you can either email me back or go
to the website and post a comment!

I did the taller tote without the bows;

I also made the smaller one in front of it for my stuff!

My friend Katie made the other two and hers turned out cute;

just sewing the cris-cross stuff seems teadeous! :)

High School Reunion!

Well, I really just wanted to update on how it went since I've been mentioning it so much lately. I really didn't get any pictures. I honestly don't know what I would have taken pictures of. :) I think the best way to describe it is pretty much how I told my friend Mindy, wasn't too exciting and I didn't see a lot of people I don't see regularly or semi-regularly but mostly b/c I didn't got to the right things! I went to the football game the Friday night and it was okay; we lost (of course) we weren't the home team, and not a lot of other alumni went. Apparently most of the people went to the thing at Fox & Hound following the game, I decided to come home to Jason and Madi. :) Saturday they had a picnic and school tour. I went to the picnic, okay technically I met up with a few friends at the picnic that were already there and said there weren't a lot of people that we talked to in high school there and none of us paid to eat, so we all went to Chili's and had lunch together and came back for the tour. We did some of the other alumni at the tour but didn't really talk to anyone so it was interesting. It was a good time though, b/c I enjoyed the company and the tour was pretty neat to see how the school has changed in 10 years! We also ran into one of our teachers that happened to be there! :) That evening they had an event at the Bricktown Brewery and I did not go, it was formal, and I'm only formal for friends and families weddings! :) It looked like from pictures a good group went to that as well. :)
I also wanted to add b/c with the reunion behind me and having my realization on realtionships, I really feel like it's made such a difference on my outlook on life! I have been thinking a lot more about the important things. I almost feel like I've changed overnight! I can't explain it, just I mainly feel more confident and feel like I'm really working at getting more out of my relationships. I think a lot of it is that before hand I was really timid and sometimes felt like I spent time with people for some benefit of my own (even though that wouldn't be the case) and now, I'm spending time with people because I enjoy their company or if they need the company, etc! Basically, I'm not thinking about it so much, just doing and enjoying! I don't know, it's like because I am less timid than I used to be things are growing a lot more naturally and I feel a lot less awkward in the situations I used to make so awkward. There never really were many awkward situations I made them into that within me. I feel more free. It's great! I'm still the same when it comes to new people but those people that have been there for a while things are better! I'm so happy! Now to just find that stinkin' bag of money I've been searching for.............. :)
Have a great weekend! You all are still the greatest people in my life! We are on this path for a reason so step back take a look and see what it might be or step up and follow it through to see where it leads!!

Relationships

I guess in part of growing up; I've been thinking a lot about the people in my life; currently or previously. I just think it is so interesting how people come in your life and the types of relationships you can have! People you never expect to be friends with and the people you think were long gone suddenly become very close to you. I have really begun to realize that you make those relationships grow or not. You decide if those people will be close or further away. I used to always whine that certain people wouldn't ever call me or get upset that they went out and didn't even call me or ask me; then I realize, when was the last time I called them or asked them to do anything?! I guess for whatever reason I always thought friendships and family relationships were easy and marriage was the only one you had to work at. Obviously I have learned, if you want to keep anyone in your life it does take a little work! I think I always took it so hard because I am the type of person that once you are in my life you automatically have a special place in my heart and are my friend for life. Thus in turn because I treasure every realtionship I have I am very picky and it takes me some time to warm up to people. Which also frustrates me because I don't chat up people as well as people like Jason or my dad! Having my 10 year reunion coming up has been interesting in my relationships because a lot of people I never thought I would talk to again have become pretty good friends, yet at the same time; a lot of people that I never really talked to in high school and never really have since then, I'm kind of thinking why do I need to converse with you now? :) I started to take sociology in college and since I didn't finish college, didn't finish that; but something I will most likely look into finishing! I am going to finish college, but never really decided in what, so now I think it may be more in the sociology field! I always think it's interesting to see how people interact and I am a big people watcher, so it would be a good field. Anyway, basically I think because as you get older friends can become more scarce especially when I am pretty much a stay at home mom; I don't have co-workers and I don't really have a way to meet new people, yet; so I treasure everyone and have really pondered each realtionship becasue I do cherish everyone in my life. I especially love when you have family members you are close to! I have a sister that when I was still in high school followed me everywhere and I totally had no problem with it! We were best buds and although we've grown up we try to stay as close as possible; with kids and full time jobs, you can get pretty busy! Maybe that's also my thing because was we grow we have different interests with people we used to have everything in common with and that scares me (I also don't like change very much) so I'm trying to find common ground with everyone! I also think maybe that's why I have gotten so attached to my sewing because not only am I doing something that my grandma and great-grandma loved but it has brought me closer to other people I didn't expect! My cousin whom I used to play with a lot when we were little and her sister we had lost touch as we grew up and because we're into sewing it has brought us closer. We went to the zoo this past weekend and it was a pretty good time, nice to get to talk in person again! I also started to feel like I was losing touch with what I consider one of my best friends but sewing has brought us back together! I think the past 3 or 4 weekends we have been garage sale shopping and it's been a blast; yes we are going tomorrow too! :) People change but the people in your life don't have to. I think that is where I'm trying to find comfort. BUT, I love having new ones too! Meeting Laci has been so much of a blessing and Charolotte is a joy! Makes me realize that when you have a job and think man, I wish I hadn't worked at that stupid place, it was all for a reason, because I wouldn't have ever met those two ladies! I also hated how we had to move back into an apartment but we have some really great neighbors that I am really glad we have met! Even though they are moving soon, I hope they will become great friends of ours (including Madison w/ the baby above us)! I also think of those who have passed away friends and family and what a better person I am for knowing them. Yes their time may have been cut short; but I do truly believe everything happens for a reason. I also believe that even though those people are gone, they still live on through us!! I am still growing and loving every chance I get to spend with those people in my life! You are all a blessing and I wouldn't trade any of you! (well maybe some.....j/k!) Maybe this will give me more motivation to find a new job and make some new wonderful friends! :) Anyway, I just had to share and I don't have any new pictures, I will add more soon. Take care!
~Ashley