Okay, so I was going through my blogs that I follow after adding one to my follow list of my good friend Mindy's husband. :) Well, I have a few craft ones that I follow to get ideas, etc. Well one that I follow had listed at the end of one of her blogs about a lady who had contacted her about a project she's doing. This mom is making eye masks for little babies in the NICU for any hospital she can. She had a baby that had been in the NICU and was not able to wear any clothes of any kind but needed to have her eyes covered so she decided to make masks. Well, she was wanting to have this idea spread so many crafters could get involved and you can bet I will be one of them. Here is the blog of the mother making the masks where you can get information on it and read her story www.mybabysbling.blogspot.com. She also has a blog about her little baby she lost....have tissue handy if you venture that way!
Well, of course reading her story tugs at your heart especially when you have friends who have gone through it! To add to it Madison woke up briefly while I was reading this blog and I went in to check on her and get her laid back down. Of course looking at my sweet girl falling back asleep the tears came on! So I decided I would blog about it! :)
It just is amazing, you would think being that you are raised to know that death is inevitable, everyone will die at some point and in your lifetime you have been to a few funerals. So, you would think seeing this happen with a baby you would be prepared for it. How could you be?! When a parent or grandparent, aunt or uncle pass away, they've lived; they have had their hard days and great days. They have lived through tough times and good times; had bad experiences and wonderful ones. Good moments and bad. You have gotten to know their personality, heard their stories and shared great times with them. A baby doesn't have that. When you find out your pregnant, you plan and prepare and dream of what it will be like as you learn and watch as your little one grows. You imagine all the things you will teach them; prepare to capture their first moment crawling, walking, riding a bike and thus driving! You imagine someday they will have their first day at school, first friends, first boy/girl friend, and first date! You think of the life the little baby growing inside you will have. Then the day they are born you hope to hear they are healthy and will continue to be healthy. To hear the words that they have something you don't know if they'll survive, how long they'll survive, how you will survive. All this assuming the baby was born alive. Some babies don't make it that far. I am thankful I have not had to face this challenge but so very heart broken for those that have!!!! It is so hard to imagine those babies that never had all those firsts, all those experiences! I am sure as with most unexpected deaths, and some expected, people turn to faith. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and God most certainly knows that reason. I imagine it would be very hard to understand that reason, but I know, too, that God does sometimes reveal some of that reason, it may not be immediate, but at some point I believe you will find it. I am just a ball of emotions when it comes to the subject of babies that pass away! I believe anyone that goes through that in any capacity is very strong!! I am now on a mission to try and help any one that I can in any way that I can when dealing with such a hard thing! A parent should never have to bury their child! Take care of all those sweet babies out there!
(Love you Tony, Laci & Betsy; you have great angels in Grace and Olivia!!)
Monday, November 30, 2009
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Relationships part 2?
Well, I don't know if I'm in the process of "growing" more in this area or just rethinking what I've previously come to understand. Well lately I was thinking on the line of making the effort in that yes it takes the effort to make a realtionship work but sometimes I feel bad reaching out b/c I feel like I'm intruding I think mostly because I know how busy I am or can be and wonder if they are as well. I think mainly I'm trying to find my boundries. I've always been the person who worries too much about what others think of me and as I've grown I have learned to not do that as much but of course there are still times you can't help it. I think it is a little human nature and part being a woman. :) I am definitely finding out that learning and growing are one in the same! I think more than anything I work myself up a little bit because part of me wants to be that friend that talks to one or so friends everyday; or basically has at least one good friend that I talk to at least once or twice a day and sometimes in this day with everyone so busy all the time it doesn't seem like there's time. Of course when I do think of that I do either send a text or try to remember to facebook them. Which in part to me seems kind of silly; I remember when we couldn't wait to get home from school just so we could talk on the phone and with a few of my friends meant we just sat there on the phone doing whatever but really not talking. Probably why they invented texting so you could say what you needed to as you needed to without all the awkwardness. Sometimes I want to embrace that awkwardness, it builds character! I have avoided awkwardness a lot in my life, but sometimes, going with it just teaches you more and adds to who you are!! Frankly I think I'm still growing emotionally etc! I've had a few things going on that have really made me stop to figure out how I really feel about things. On the plus side one of the relationships I am really greatful for that has grown is with my mom! We talk more than we used to and there is a lot less tension than we used to! Maybe because she calls me about one thing or another or I'm calling her about a specific thing and we end up talking about the normal day to day stuff, I guess b/c I get tired of only talking to Jason about the day to day; especially when he is there in some of the day to day! :) I guess it still amazes me that we are still growing and learning even in my old age LOL! Although I'm sure that even when I'm a grandma, I'll still be learning! I think part of what makes it so interesting is I am the type of person who does not enjoy change very well, but some of it I am starting to embrace! Maybe I will start calling people when I feel like I need to instead of thinking, nah, I'll just email her later or facebook her tomorrow. If you don't like me calling too bad! :) Take care, until next time!
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Hodge Podge
So, I'm a little behind, at least on my blog, sometimes I feel like on everything. :) Well, I thought I would update a little. I have done a few more sewing projects since my last post; if you follow on Facebook I've put up pictures. I did finally take Madison to do professional portraits! I think for the majority of pictures I may want I'll just do at home if at all possible like I did her 6 months! It's just easier b/c then you can do what you want with them and not worry about it and decide how much you want to pay on printing them out. As for ones that might be for special occasions and such I'll still take her to a studio. :)
On another note; I was thinking the other day, as I have been lately how interesting life can be. It's just so amazing the concept of being a grown up you have as a child and when you are all grown up, you realize how innocent you were. It also puts things in percpective because you want to make sure your children (and in my case my nieces that I watch) keep that innocence. You really think about how you say things and frankly what you say! Aside from all that it's hard to deal with your emotions and maintain a composure! I just feel like I've been so confused on how to feel about things lately. It's funny how life seems to be going good; everything is in order and makes sense and then one thing happens and it seems like several things happen; it's never one thing at a time. Like with your car or house! There are a lot of family things going on right now and it seems like Madi and I have been busy without really being too busy so I haven't had a chance to spend time with friends except a couple of playdates. I think that is what my deal is lately I feel like I just don't know how to deal with what's on my plate and maybe part of it is having the chance to get out of the house childless either with the girls or just Jason and not being able to do that for a while things pile up! I think a lot of it has been this flu epidemic also, I think I've put back not doing some things b/c I don't want Madi or myself to get sick! Lucky for us Madi's flu shot is still good; I on the other hand am not, so I try to be careful!
Madison is doing good, she is testing her boundaries on everything! I think being around her cousins as much as she is she also tries to be a big girl like them and gets very upset when she can't. I think she has also picked up a thing or two from her cousins that she tries to get away with. She is getting so big! I hate it, I keep telling her to stop growing! A few months ago, since Madi is so facinated with keys, we were outside and she wanted to try putting them in the door, so I pulled over a chair we had on the porch so she could reach and play; while I stood right there of course. Well the other day when we were coming in from outside and she had keys in hand, yes she reached up and had no trouble reaching the knob with the keys! I was so surprised! She's not eye to eye with the knob yet, thankfully, but it still gets me! Not to mention her vocabulary! She can say so much! Even today Jason was asking her to say, 'love you' and she did; of course it was as clear as you or I saying it, but you knew that's what she was saying. She has also moved from calling Clancy 'dog-dog' to some form of 'can-can' or 'cancy' or even 'can' I'm not sure. It is also amazing because I know she will have no problem picking up on putting her words into sentences when she reaches that! She already will say "mama, keys" or something like that, like when she wants something or is trying to give you something. So, not so much saying, "mama, here are the keys" but in her little vocabulary, that is what she's saying in her two words! It is also so fun to have friends with kids Madi's age give or take a few months to see how different and the same they are! It is funny too because Madi is always around bigger kids and then occasionally around her friend Seth who is a couple of months older but a boy none-the-less so he likes to wrestle so after being around all that when she gets around her friend Story or even our neighbor MaKenzie, she of course looks like she's trying to hug them but sometimes tries to tackle them too. It is so funny, but kind of scary too b/c I don't want her to hurt them being as that she is also the bigger of all her friends! She's not so much obese or anything but she's just bigger. :)
So, also on the note of Madison, it's coming down to where I really need to get a job, I'm totally dreading it b/c I really don't want to leave her and still trying to find the ideal situation where I can work a few days a week and take her with me for free. I have pretty much found that at Crossing Church just down the street from us; they are needing someone to work Sunday mornings, Monday mornings, and Wednesday nights. I can take Madi if I need to and it's good pay. I've filled out the application, just have not had the chance to take it by yet. I do hope it works out b/c it would be very good hours and would of course help to have the extra money. Of course I know it's inevitable that I will someday have to get more hours and therefore leave her more, I'm just trying to postpone it as much as possible. I'm enjoying my time with her and maybe being a little lazy :) but I know it's all for better. I think my big thing that's getting me is that I don't want to jump into a full on full time job so quickly b/c I don't know when we might plan on the next one and I don't want to get into the same situation again, I want to be able to stay home with the next one as much as I can. I know I may not be able to stay home full time with both, but I'll take part time! Maybe the Crossings thing will work out and I'll be able to keep that even with another one and we'll still be okay. We'll have to see where life takes us! :)
Alright, I feel like I've babbled enough; thus the title hodge podge. :) Hope everyone is doing well and taking good care of themselves! I don't know if I'll get around to posting before the holidays seeing my track record on here. :) So Happy Holidays to all and I'm sure I will see you soon!
On another note; I was thinking the other day, as I have been lately how interesting life can be. It's just so amazing the concept of being a grown up you have as a child and when you are all grown up, you realize how innocent you were. It also puts things in percpective because you want to make sure your children (and in my case my nieces that I watch) keep that innocence. You really think about how you say things and frankly what you say! Aside from all that it's hard to deal with your emotions and maintain a composure! I just feel like I've been so confused on how to feel about things lately. It's funny how life seems to be going good; everything is in order and makes sense and then one thing happens and it seems like several things happen; it's never one thing at a time. Like with your car or house! There are a lot of family things going on right now and it seems like Madi and I have been busy without really being too busy so I haven't had a chance to spend time with friends except a couple of playdates. I think that is what my deal is lately I feel like I just don't know how to deal with what's on my plate and maybe part of it is having the chance to get out of the house childless either with the girls or just Jason and not being able to do that for a while things pile up! I think a lot of it has been this flu epidemic also, I think I've put back not doing some things b/c I don't want Madi or myself to get sick! Lucky for us Madi's flu shot is still good; I on the other hand am not, so I try to be careful!
Madison is doing good, she is testing her boundaries on everything! I think being around her cousins as much as she is she also tries to be a big girl like them and gets very upset when she can't. I think she has also picked up a thing or two from her cousins that she tries to get away with. She is getting so big! I hate it, I keep telling her to stop growing! A few months ago, since Madi is so facinated with keys, we were outside and she wanted to try putting them in the door, so I pulled over a chair we had on the porch so she could reach and play; while I stood right there of course. Well the other day when we were coming in from outside and she had keys in hand, yes she reached up and had no trouble reaching the knob with the keys! I was so surprised! She's not eye to eye with the knob yet, thankfully, but it still gets me! Not to mention her vocabulary! She can say so much! Even today Jason was asking her to say, 'love you' and she did; of course it was as clear as you or I saying it, but you knew that's what she was saying. She has also moved from calling Clancy 'dog-dog' to some form of 'can-can' or 'cancy' or even 'can' I'm not sure. It is also amazing because I know she will have no problem picking up on putting her words into sentences when she reaches that! She already will say "mama, keys" or something like that, like when she wants something or is trying to give you something. So, not so much saying, "mama, here are the keys" but in her little vocabulary, that is what she's saying in her two words! It is also so fun to have friends with kids Madi's age give or take a few months to see how different and the same they are! It is funny too because Madi is always around bigger kids and then occasionally around her friend Seth who is a couple of months older but a boy none-the-less so he likes to wrestle so after being around all that when she gets around her friend Story or even our neighbor MaKenzie, she of course looks like she's trying to hug them but sometimes tries to tackle them too. It is so funny, but kind of scary too b/c I don't want her to hurt them being as that she is also the bigger of all her friends! She's not so much obese or anything but she's just bigger. :)
So, also on the note of Madison, it's coming down to where I really need to get a job, I'm totally dreading it b/c I really don't want to leave her and still trying to find the ideal situation where I can work a few days a week and take her with me for free. I have pretty much found that at Crossing Church just down the street from us; they are needing someone to work Sunday mornings, Monday mornings, and Wednesday nights. I can take Madi if I need to and it's good pay. I've filled out the application, just have not had the chance to take it by yet. I do hope it works out b/c it would be very good hours and would of course help to have the extra money. Of course I know it's inevitable that I will someday have to get more hours and therefore leave her more, I'm just trying to postpone it as much as possible. I'm enjoying my time with her and maybe being a little lazy :) but I know it's all for better. I think my big thing that's getting me is that I don't want to jump into a full on full time job so quickly b/c I don't know when we might plan on the next one and I don't want to get into the same situation again, I want to be able to stay home with the next one as much as I can. I know I may not be able to stay home full time with both, but I'll take part time! Maybe the Crossings thing will work out and I'll be able to keep that even with another one and we'll still be okay. We'll have to see where life takes us! :)
Alright, I feel like I've babbled enough; thus the title hodge podge. :) Hope everyone is doing well and taking good care of themselves! I don't know if I'll get around to posting before the holidays seeing my track record on here. :) So Happy Holidays to all and I'm sure I will see you soon!
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