Updates and Blessings!

So, I wanted to update, sorry it's been a couple of months; I'll try to update more! I celebrated a birthday since my last post and I took it amazingly well. I hated having only one daughter wishing me a happy birthday, but I knew Hailey was probably looking down on us and having her own little "party" for me. :) Valentine's Day wasn't too bad, I don't really get much into it anyway, and it's more fun for school aged kids anyway; so that may be when it hits me; along with the whole year Hailey would be starting school etc.
So, after losing Hailey we were told to wait 6 months until we could start trying.Well, we decided that since I would have a cycle at the 6 month mark we would jump the gun a little; figuring we wouldn't get pregnant right away. Well, apparently God's plan played out, not ours. I was totally okay with it taking a few months to get pregnant like it had with Madison and Hailey. Apparently that was not the case this time. As time got closer for my cycle to start (sorry tmi); I got all anxious, like we do when we are trying. I was on one of my group pages for trying after a loss, and was hesitant to test because I have tested before only to have basically wasted it. Well, the night before I would be 'late' I told Jason to pick up a cheap test just for fun and see what happens. Getting a cheap one, helped in case it was a 'wasted' one. Well, after he came home around 2am; because of his work schedule; I had had some water and was ready for the test. Well, it pretty much turned instantly! It was positive but I decided to wait the allotted time just to be sure. After checking it again and still very much positive I showed Jason. We were both VERY surprised!! I took pictures and Jason was hesitant for that because he didn't want me posting it for the world just yet. I only showed my friends in my ttc after a loss group. The picture was blurry but many said that 'blurry or not, it very positive'. :) It's funny, because once I got to the place of accepting Hailey was in Heaven and had a peace about it, and was getting closer to time to be able to start trying, all I could think about was wanting to try again and wanting another baby. The instant I found out we were in fact pregnant again, all I could do was worry. It's a lot like any other time you find out you're pregnant after trying, you realize, this is real, this is happening. Well, ironically the day was the day after Valentine's day, so it was pretty neat being close to a holiday. So, Jason and I decided to wait just a little bit to tell people. Of course a few days of that and we were already itching to tell people!! I don't remember for sure what order we told people, but we started with our parents of course and a few of our closest friends! It's funny the reactions. I remember telling my mom and Jason's mom when we were pregnant with Madison and their reactions, and then their reactions with Hailey. Of course this time it was very different! My mom didn't even say anything, she just looked at me; I was like, 'aren't you excited?' She said she was just worried, understandable, because so was I. :) As time goes on, we feel a little better about it, and know that God will take care of it. He provided this, so He will take care of it. Well, to add to the excitement, we had a wedding in Dallas to go to coming up and I had contacted my doctor about the trip to make sure we took the proper precautions, etc to make sure I would be ok. She said we could do an ultrasound before just to make sure everything is ok. So, we go and do the ultrasound and the tech says, "well, let me tell you what I'm looking at," okay, that freaked me out a little because I didn't know what to think. She goes on to say, "there are two babies". What?! Wow! We couldn't believe it and Jason literally stood up and stepped closer to the screen to make sure. Then he sent my mom a message telling her we were coming by her work after the doctor because we needed to talk to her, she didn't know what to think either. We had already planned on seeing Jason's parents later that evening, so we planned on sharing with them that night. We proceeded to pass it along to those that knew we were pregnant. One of my mom's first things in regard to the twins, is that it is definitely God because there aren't twins in my family. Of course over time, we seem to think maybe it could be from twins we remember or discover in the family line. Regardless, it is God. Of course it's not like we are getting two to replace Hailey; that will never happen because even with the twins we will now have 4 children! Which is ironic because I always said I didn't want 4, because I am one of 4 and I know what that's like. I also said 2 would be ideal, and here we'll have 3 and one 1 in Heaven. Just to show, God has a plan, no matter what ours is. It's not up to us. It is up to us to follow Him and have faith in Him, beyond that, it's pretty much out of our hands.
Granted I am still nervous and anxious, because I don't know what's to come. It is funny because the natural reaction to twins, is oh, my; double the diapers, double the everything. Well, I am ready, I am going to embrace it! God didn't take Hailey without knowing we could handle it, so I know He isn't providing us with twins without knowing we can handle that as well. Of course, the natural reaction is to want to prepare, bigger car, house, etc. At first I was getting a little worried, more on how that would all fall in place. Needless to say, not only is it too early to be worrying, but it is also isn't something for me to worry about. Just like at first when we lost Hailey I didn't understand why and still am not 100% on what the plan is for it happening and what is to come from it, I am not clear on the plan for this pregnancy and these babies; but I know there is a plan and that is reassuring. All I can do is take it one day at a time and take care of myself and thus these babies.
Of course we have also decided to share with more people about our blessing, because as time went on, we realized the more people that knew the more people could pray. So add us to your prayer list that all will go well. I am naturally antsy for October to be here so I can see my babies and hold them and hopefully hear them cry! So include prayer that our worries will be few and that God will continue to reassure us.
Thank you for reading and thinking of us!
Until next time! :)