One Year

So it's officially been one year, since we lost our sweet girl. It has been quite the journey, we have been through a lot and learned a lot. It has definitely made it interesting being pregnant again. Sooo many emotions over the past year. I have even had some bitterness on some things. It can be a hard journey, but I have turned to those around me and put A LOT in my faith and the Lord! I certainly could have NEVER done this on my own and can NEVER express how much I appreciate the people that have surrounded us!
I didn't know for quite some time what I wanted to do for her first birthday. I thought about going to the cemetery, thought about releasing butterflies, and of course the traditional balloon release or just a casual get together. As it got closer and being on bed rest I was limited and a few things were automatically off the list. I also missed doing the butterflies because I couldn't figure out how to get them to release them and if I tried the kind you hatch I didn't plan it on time. So since the main thing I wanted was to be surrounded by those that have been there and supported us, we finally decided to invite those people and do a balloon release because it was the easiest to plan etc. We did that tonight and it turned out very nicely! I am very pleased with how it went.
Of course I was soo nervous about the day approaching and what it would be like. As usual it was like most things, the anticipation is worse than the day. I didn't feel like doing much during the day, so we didn't. We enjoyed family time and just thought about her and talked about her. Madison had her moments of testing us but we got through it. :)
It is interesting, people keep telling me how strong I am and so on, but I don't feel like I'm doing anything special. I guess the funny thing is everyone says I'm the string one, but actually I wouldn't be if it weren't for them (you) as I mentioned. :)
Also Jason had said at the balloon release that I was the glue, but in an odd way, I think Madison was/is because she helped me. I was focused on caring for her and had her to love on and that helped me a lot as well. It's just amazing the things you learn by going through something like this! You learn a lot about yourself and the ones who are your true friends and I am sure they also learn a lot as well!
We have six weeks left until the boys are born and we are very excited. It will be a fun journey and I look forward to what we will learn in the next year. I will also have to plan well for the next celebration having two little ones at Hailey's next birthday. Thank you for reading and thinking of us!
Until next time!

releasing the balloons

Madison releasing the first balloon

balloons.....

30 Weeks pregnant with the boys! :)