Life is Tricky!

I have some stuff on my mind and thought I would share. Also as I'm typing this I need to get Jason to post a few! :) Anyway, so I've actually had a lot going on lately, not just on my schedule, but emotionally and mentally as well. I think a lot of it is because I have had a lot going on with my schedule. I had Vacation Bible School last week and it definitely kept me busy but it was good for all involved! Since I'm watching the girls we set it up so that I would teach a class so that I could take them, work with a class and take Madison too and we could just go from there so I wouldn't be just dropping them off and coming back. Ultimately I was okay with that because it gave Madison a chance to be around more kids her age! It also worked out that I was teaching her class. Even though she was actually registered in the babies class since she was the only one walking in that class and I had the older 1s and 2s I was able to bring her in my class! It was a fun and busy week. I of course didn't plan much so I didn't have a lot of activities for them to do, they just played and once a day we took them for a wagon ride and that helped a lot. Well, being at church and around the familiar faces has really put me at a point where I've put going back to church to the forefront of my mind. I've been wanting to since Madison was born and of course constantly made excuses! I know that's what the devil wants and does to us. I think it rings so much in my mind becuase of how involved I was in the youth group; there were points where I felt like I wasn't involved enough even though I was doing as much as I could. It's just so easy to make the excuses and "attend 'Bedtime Baptist'"! :) Well, the other part of things on my mind is dealing with a friend of ours who has cancer and is losing her battle. I had a friend who fought her whole life with C.F. and beat the odds and lived well beyond what the doctors said she would and was able to get a lung transplant but died shortly after from something else. Regardless even though when you have a disease that you know may take your life, it still never actually prepares you! I took it pretty hard when she passed and although I'm not as close to this friend as I was that one, it is still hard and I hate it! I hate that people have to go through that. I know we do for a reason and it's their time, it's still very hard. One of the things about this one is that it affects Jason more than me because he was close to her husband where as our friend with C.F. we were close to her and her husband; they were in our youth group with us. With all that I'm just really at a point in my life where some of the hard questions come up and the way you think about things and answer those questions start to differ compared to when we're younger and have a more innocent way of thinking! It definitely makes me want to live more and remember that we aren't always guaranteed tomorrow! I think more than anything, before I had Madison I worried if I would even make it to have children now I worry what if something happens to me now or worse what if something happens to Madison! One thing too, I'm beginning to realize that people are truly put in your life for a reason no matter how long they are in it and no matter the circumstance they may no longer be a part of your life! I was sitting here thinking if for some reason we had a child born with C.F. we would have a good source to go to on how to handle it! Just like having a friend who lost his wife to a terminal disease is a good person to send to our friend now who has a wife fighting with a terminal disease. I'm hoping and praying they might be a good support for each other! I can only hope and pray that if anything does happen to me or my family that my friends stand by me like our friends have! It is interesting too because even before all this was even in my radius for me to be dealing with I had been thinking a lot about my friends and how dear they are to me and how much I have slacked on working on those friendships. I would get so upset if someone left me out of something or was doing something with other friends and not me; but sat at home thinking, why shouldn't they, they have been making the effort to build those relationships and I haven't so it is my own fault. Despite all that it makes me cherish them even more for still being there and being my friend even when I fail to be there for them. I am now working on making that conscience effort to do more and work more at that! It's also amazing how it comes full circle because the relationship thing with my friends and getting back into church comes back to also working more at having the relationship with Jesus I need to be having, He is always there waiting for me I just have to work and being there too. I truly believe everything happens for a reason! Okay that's all I have for now. I haven't uploaded my pictures from Bible School yet and am too tired to do it now, so I will do it soon! :) Have a great week!